4 Ways To Make Your Home a Haven
While preparing for the week, I always ask myself “What value or theme can I take along with me while I go throughout the day?” I often land on this concept: Making your home a haven – something so many of us want.
This idea of “a haven” can mean so many different things to different people. At the end of the day, the things we all want are peace and comfort and contentment.
But first, let’s talk about this word “haven.” What does that mean to you? Haven I mean, by definition, is a place of refuge. It’s safety. How can your home be a haven? What would that look like? What would that feel like? Take a second to think about what that word means to you.
Then, think about your home, wherever it is, whatever it is. How is your home a haven? How would you like for it to be your safe place and your refuge? What brings peace and calm to you so that you can settle in at home?
Let Things Have Meaning
Let’s take a tip from the Feast of Saint Martha. The story goes that Martha and Mary, both sisters, were in their home. They were hosting Jesus, and Mary was the one sitting and listening. Martha was going around, busy in the kitchen, and busy making sure everyone had what they needed. She was missing everything. Doesn’t that sound like what we do when we’re home?
I mean, think about all the things that we are always doing – things that keep us busy. This includes the things that we think keep us busy. Many times, we try to find busyness when all we really want to do is just settle in and have some peace. More importantly, we just want to be more present with our thoughts and the things that are valuable to us. That’s why home is home. There’s only one of them, so why not make it the home that we want it to be?
It’s so simple, too. The one thing that brings me peace and comfort is cooking. No matter what I am putting together, it has meaning. Think back to Martha…she was worried. She was stressed out. Even though stress isn’t bad, worry diminishes your joy. Instead, enjoy your rhythms at home and let them have meaning. You can enjoy those moments and share them with others – that’s all it takes!
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Daily Reflection
I’m writing this blog post after a weekend in the garden. It’s full of vegetables at this time of the year. It’s right in the middle of summer, which means that I’m not really planting that much, but I am picking a lot of tomatoes and a lot of beans, and I only grow. But I know that we’re going to be eating that day or as fresh as possible.
Each day, whether I’m picking something or growing something, I have a chance to think and be with my thoughts. This opportunity to reflect can be refreshing for the soul. There may be thoughts we don’t want to think about, or that we’re afraid to think about. Why is that?
When we put in daily time to reflect, to examine our thoughts, and examine our conscience…we become whole again. Your home will be much more peaceful and much more full of contentment. When you allow yourself to just be, and be at peace with yourself, you can provide the same for others around you.
Serve and Serve Well
It’s not so much how we do things at home, but why we do them in the first place. The reason why we spend so much time thinking about what we can do for our families is not so much because we want to, or have to….but that we have a need to provide and to serve others.
We all serve our families in different ways. You may feel a call to serve more people besides your family (like myself!). Providing meals is a basic way you can serve others at home. When you feed someone, you’re not just giving them food, you’re nourishing their body and nourishing their soul.
Think about when you eat your favorite meal. Think about when you enjoy the food in front of you. It becomes a bigger experience than just putting food in your mouth, right? To provide that experience for someone else is possibly the greatest joy I know – and you may feel the same!
Reflect on this: How are people feeling about your role in their life? How are your children feeling? Your spouse, your family, your co-workers (yes, they count, too!) How can you express love, care, and concern? What are your talents that you can bring to the table?
You may not like to cook like I do. That’s okay! What other things can you do to share your joy and your peace with others? When you can do that freely, where you do not feel obligated but rather because you want to, your home truly becomes a haven.
You may even want to open your doors more often to others because your home has “that feeling.” Possibly the biggest compliment you can get about your home is how welcoming it is! That feeling has nothing to do with whatever is on your wall or the type of kitchen you have.
Instead, it has everything to do with how you are providing that care and concern, that love that people feel. For me, when I put good food on the table, everybody’s happy!
Rituals and Routines
Every Sunday, we have pancakes. Specially, I make a batch of sourdough discard pancakes and serve it with fresh fruit and, maple syrup, and Hershey’s chocolate syrup. It’s such a specific experience that when we have pancakes any other time, my kids think something is wrong!
These rituals and routines are more than what they are. They provide an experience and a genuine feeling of comfort and safety.
One of the definitions of “haven” that very word – safety, or refuge. What can you do in your home that can provide this sense of safety? That can allow someone to think, “This is what brings me comfort. This is what I’m looking forward to. This I know will happen because this always is the case?”
How can you provide for that? It’s not hard. It might be an activity that you do together as a family. It might be a special meal that’s not pancakes! It might be a family board game that you have. You may have little ritual date nights. Whatever it is that you can stick to on an ongoing basis, you will enjoy a beautiful sense of safety and peace.
How do you make your home a haven? Let us know below!
